10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Patient

Don’t threaten a break-up

If you threaten your patients, you may regret it later. “It shows that you’re not truly committed to your job, making your patient feel rejected and preventing them from feeling safe trusting you.” When a patient comes to you, he/she is apprehensive, as a new patient will definitely take time trusting you for he/she had his/her own reasons to leave his/her previous dentist. So, if by any chance you are having a bad day (it’s OK, we are all humans), tell the patient politely that you are swamped today and you would really appreciate if you can give them the evening/next day’s appointment. This will give you time to understand his/her issue and understand the exact problem they are facing. Believe me, it helps build trust with your patients as they see that you have kept a “special time” exclusively for them.

Don’t call him or her a liar

“Trust is imperative for any successful relationship”. If you suspect the patient is being untruthful about anything, telling them straight out that you don’t believe him/her will usually backfire. Instead say, “I’m having trouble believing you’re telling me the entire story.” It’s less inflammatory and accusatory. Focus on asking questions about a particular incident to fully open the lines of communication. The idea is to listen rather than fire off harsh statements. By gathering all the facts first, you’ll be in a much better position to understand your patient’s behavior, disease, history and then react appropriately.

Don’t tell them how to react to something

Let’s get one thing down for sure, they are in pain, they are not sure and all they want is relief. Words like “Calm down” and “You’re being too sensitive” will make the patient feel you cannot empathise. Sometimes doctors make comments like these to stop their patients who are upset, but it can make the patient feel like their emotions aren’t justified, valid or being heard. You want your patients to feel safe showing and voicing their vulnerability without fear of judgment. These phrases are perceived as demeaning directives that belittle and degrade your patient; and he’ll respond with anger, volatility and/or hostility. Rather than telling them how to feel and react to the matter at hand, you’ll be better able to resolve things by letting them vent and listening carefully to what they are saying.

Don’t be passive aggressive

When a patient is at your clinic, it’s obvious that something is wrong, maybe something serious. So, when you say “nothing or everything is fine” you’re being passive aggressive and you make it seem like you’re afraid of bringing up something that could be serious. Being able to communicate with your patients is the only way to work through and make them trust you completely. Sit down and talk it out as calmly and respectfully as possible.

Don’t speak in absolutes

“You’re always late”, “You never take a complete course of medicines” — when you use these phrases, they’re rarely truthful or productive and always hurtful. You’re telling your patient that they can never do anything right and that you don’t think they can change. When you say these words, you’re essentially conducting a character assassination. Studies show that when you put your patient’s character down, you’re even more likely to head for a break up, meaning — you may be the most talented dentist in the whole city, but if you lack communication skills, get ready to go down the hills and lose potential patients. Next time, explain the logic behind taking complete course of medicines (patients appreciate if you involve them) or plan a time according to their schedule if they are always late on your appointed time. A little adjustment will go a long way.

Don’t test their loyalty

“You don’t trust me?” — your patients shouldn’t feel pressured to do something to prove his loyalty. You’re basically testing your patient when you say things like this. Instead, make a request in a non-confrontational and direct way.

Don’t insult their career

Do NOT share a treatment plan according to their social status, it is unethical and you never know, sometimes patients surprise you. I have come across many senior doctors who do not tell their economically weak patient a complete treatment plan. They go straight away with extractions, never even mentioning Root canal treatment, crown and bridge, let alone implants. You have to respect each and every patient you have. You don’t want to belittle, emasculate or marginalize your patients by saying things like “You cannot afford our advanced treatment.” Poof!! Your patient is gone.

Don’t make them feel dumb

No one likes to be told they’re dumb or feel belittled. The unspoken and unwelcome message is that you’re smarter than they are in what you do. They have all the right to get an explaination of the treatment plan, post-op instruction or pre-op instructions without them feeling that you think they are dumb. It takes time for some patients to absorb or they want to be extra careful, there is nothing wrong with repeating an instruction 4 or 5 times, if the patient wants so. if it is difficult to conduct easily and/or there is a series of instruction or treatment plan that you follow with all of your patients, then keep printed copies and handover to them.

Don’t be overly sarcastic

The habit will not go on its own. “Do I look like I am here to brush your teeth?” “Do I look like a babysitter?” Words of sarcasm may seem harmless at first, but they can be used to take a dig at your patient and communicate that you’ve been frustrated by an unmet expectation. Sarcastic comments that put your patient down will erode the relationship and are likely to leave your patient feeling frustrated. Deal with the issue in a loving and genuine manner, which shows that you truly care.

Don’t bring up the ex

You know you are talented, you know you are better than others, but don’t forget you are easily replaceable. If you keep on shaming down the patient that “his ex-dentist was a quack” or “that he destroyed their oral cavity” or words like “I could have saved this if you came first to me”, will not only send the patient on a guilt trip, but will also make him/her feel that you are too proud. Keep your feet on the ground.
This goes vice versa too, your patient might keep on comparing you with his ex-dentist and will make you feel frustrated at some point of time. Have patience, you don’t need to fill someone’s shoes. You have a personality of your own, talents of your own. Let them see that through your work.

Always remember

Happy Patient = Successful Practice